Ten Ways to End a Relationship
Henry Normal
1. Patriotic - I've got to dedicate myself to work of national importance.
2. Snobbish - Your time allocation
has expired.
3. Overweening - You are too fine a human to be held back by constraints.
4. Pious - I shall pray you find
happiness elsewhere.
5. Melodramatic - I'll kill myself rather than go through this torture any longer.
6. Pathetic - I'm not worthy of love. I can't stand anyone to see me like this.
7. Defensive - I don't
have to give any reasons.
8. Sinister - I've been sleepwalking with a bread - knife lately
9. Lecherous -I want to fuck your best
friend.
10. Philosophical - Well were we really going out anyway?
